Divorce

“How comes you live with mom?”

Last week while sitting at the dinner table, that question came out of our oldest son. This question came from an observation (he is unfortunately, very observant) that his friends at school mom’s and dad’s live in separate homes. After feeling surprised and sad about his observation, we talked about divorce in a way that he would understand.

First, we provided a general observation. Divorce, though it is common today, it has many different reasons why it happens. We don’t know his friends parents situations and cannot speak for them. So we gave a brief description, “Sometimes moms and dads decide not to live with each other.” The immediate question from any child is, “Why?” Going into a description about the possibilities of divorce can be a form of gossip, so we said with the truest of answers, “We don’t know.”

Second, we talked about why his mom and dad are not divorced. We shared our love and commitment to each other.

We took a sticky situation and did our best, not to gossip about other parents and to affirm our love to each other.  

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