Before me and my wife were married, we were dating for almost three years before we walked down the aisle. Looking back, those times were a walk in the park compared to being married with children. When we were dating, we didn’t have to worry about chores and getting dirty. If I was coming over, I would call beforehand and if she weren’t ready, she would say “Give me 30 minutes.” After that period of time, I would come and see her dressed to impress. Today, we see each other more often in our “whatever” clothes because you never when something will spill, projectile, or bleed during the day.
Being married with children, can be stressful for a marriage because it’s changes the relationship you have with your spouse. You are no longer winning the affection of a person, now you are two people trying to keep the sanity in the house normal. Your conversations deal with behavior issues, homework assignments, and refereeing. If not careful, you start looking at your wife as your kids mother, which is a dangerous situation, because when your children graduate, you will be coming home to someone you don’t know anymore.
For this reason, it is important to have dates with your spouse. Yes, I am aware, that for most young couples when your children are younger, it’s harder because money is tight. But we can all afford ten bucks for an hour or two, so you and your spouse can get out of the house. We had dates at the supermarket or even just walking in the park. It costs very little, but we still are being alone. If you can’t afford ten dollars for your marriage, then you are doing something wrong in your budget.
Here are some tips.
When you are on a date, do not talk about the children. I know it’s hard because they are a big part of your life, but ask questions about them. Will children come out of those conversations? Yes, but it’s not the topic of the conversation. Make your spouse the topic of your conversation.
When setting your date, make sure you set a time so when you are getting home, the children are in bed. There is nothing that will ruin the mood of a date then coming home to your children. That sounds bad, but it takes you out of date mode and into parent mode. Another thing that takes you out of date mode is an unclean bedroom. Nothing is more romantic than an unmade bed and dirty clothes on the floor. Clean it before you leave, so when you come home you can keep up the romance. Even if your date is going to the supermarket, it still brings romance because you are spending time with each purposefully to keep that passion in your life. Sounds silly but it’s true.
Those are some of my tips, if you have any let me know in the comments below.