When my child goes to school, he is surrounded by sixty plus students from a variety of backgrounds. Each child comes from a wide range of families. Everyday when he comes home, we get to hear about the lives of his classmates. Sometimes it can funny and sometimes it can be heartbreaking. Every once in awhile, we get “Can I go to _______’s house?” When I hear this question, I honestly don’t know how to respond because I don’t want him to know about my reservations.
Now those reservations are for his school, but when it comes to church our reservations are a little different. If a family is a member of the church, we have known them better. So when my child asks that same question, my reservations are limited.
Why is this? Am I an elitist?
It is different, and no I am not an elitist. The difference is, for the most part, people in my church are on the same page of values and morals. They may raise their children different, like small things like bedtime, but when it comes to values and morals, I don’t need to worry as much. I give more leeway to the families in the church.
As my children grow up, I want them to be around people that want to build them to be godly men. Church people, for the most part, want their children to grow up the same way, so we are in this together. To have your children with other families that have similar morals and values, creates a connection of spiritual community that has a better chance of building up those morals and values.
When it comes to my children and their friends in school, I always learn about their family life before I commit to sending my child to their house. I can learn a lot about a family when I ask my son about video games and movies of their friends. A young child who is playing video games or watching movies that are way past their maturity level is a sign that we have different values. I don’t want my child to be playing those games or seeing those movies at his age. Often times, we invite their child to come over to our house instead, which is often permitted without reservations.
I don’t shelter my child from outsiders, but I am wise about other families. When my child goes to someone’s house, its because I trust that they will not be exposed to material that is adult. When my child goes to someone’s house, its because I they will be helping my child become more of a godly person. It’s not a shelter issue, its a trust issue.
I want my children to have friends and to know other people, so I rather have them come to my house and play Mario, then go to someone’s elses to play Grand Theft Auto V.