Marriages are not perfect. There is no marriage in this world that is without its faults. But there are ways to make an imperfect marriage; healthy. The best way to key a marriage healthy is to eliminating any sense of fear or anxiety in a relationship. Some marriages, the couple walks around the house on eggshells trying not to get each other upset. Their marriage, instead of a bonding relationship based on love and respect, it has become a war zone.
Marriage should not be a war zone.
How can a marriage survive if love and respect are not unconditional? Your spouse should be the person you are able to be completely honest with them and not worried they might go Frank Underwood on you. You should not need to worry about them “kissing and telling” all your intimate moments. Hopefully those are things that are considered personal and private, and not meant to be opened to the public. If those things have not been talked about it the privacy, then you need to do that asap.
Intimacy cannot survive in a relationship if fear and anxiety are present. It will suffocate any relationship, and it can be extremely hard to get rid of once it appears. Why? Because once trust is broken by anything, especially by fear, it takes a long time to come back and when it does it will not be completely the same.
What if you have fear in your relationship already? Is there any hope? You can eliminate fear, but it takes a cooperative effort. You need to keep the dialog open to discuss, but it is important to do so privately. Don’t be that couple that bickers about their dirty laundry in public. It is embarrassing and you should be embarrassed to talk about such things in public. But once you have privacy, you need to be open and honest with your feelings. The spouse needs to show and be sympathetic. Having open dialog attached with sympathy, will help start building trust and confidence. Then you need to remember hurt feelings and try not to do that again. You will still hurt each other, but if the dialog option is present, then intimacy can easily be restored.