My marriage is wonderful. Is it perfect? No, but it is still wonderful. Do we have disagreements, annoyances, and spats of anger? Yes, but there is something that keeps our marriage wonderful and that is commitment.
Commitment is what holds a marriage together, and in my opinion the most important element in a marriage.
First, without commitment passion will fade. Can passion happen without commitment? Yes, passion happens even in the most uncommitted relationships. But the passion between uncommitted couples will fade faster. Eventually, will die out and will not be reignited again. That is commonly called “falling out of love,” and the couple goes their separate ways. Committed couples know that passion does fade and could die, but through that hard times, it can be reignited again. They make the effort to build passion back in their lives, because they are committed to each other.
Second, without commitment intimacy cannot flourish. Can intimacy happen without commitment? Yes, but intimacy with uncommitted couples intimacy growth is stunted. It is stunted, because couples cannot be completely honest with each other. Honesty is the nourishment in a marriage, but honesty cannot happen if they are worried about upsetting each other. How can a marriage have emotional intimacy, if they cannot be honest with their feelings? How can a marriage have spiritual intimacy, if they cannot discuss their faith? When commitment is evident in the marriage, honesty is there and intimacy will flourish.
That is why I feel commitment is the most element part of a marriage. Commitment keeps a marriage strong, when passion is lacking. Commitment keeps a marriage growing because intimacy has a change to flourish.
If commitment is in question, I encourage you to look at your vows again, and make a recommitment to your marriage. Make it clear that your marriage will work, but it needs to be a decision you both make.
If one person is committed, I encourage you to find marital counseling. Marriage cannot be held together by one person, it needs to be held together by each other.