Taking Responsibility In Your MarriagePosted: April 14, 2014
When you live with someone, you soon will discover habits that are annoying. One of my habits that annoys my wife is my yawning. She is not annoyed that I yawn, instead in the way I yawn. I only do this in private, but when I yawn at home, I will make this loud exhale. This bugs because when I yawn in church or somewhere in a group of people, I do not make that loud noise.
I will not go into more annoyances that we have in our marriage because being annoyed will happen, but the importance of letting those things not bother you as much as they do.
How can we not let annoyances bother us?
The answer is simple to say but difficult to execute. To not let the annoyances happen, is to take responsibility of your feelings.
Taking responsibility is a good sign of a mature adult, which is important in a married couple. Immaturity in marriage is a recipe for disaster. I have seen first hand, marriages when one spouse was growing up while the other was remaining immature. So hopefully, even if you get married young, you are maturing.
Part of maturing is taking responsibility for yourself and realizing you cannot control your spouse. You cannot make them quit their annoying habits, because sometimes those habits are done unconsciously. So if you cannot control their habits, that means you have to control how you react to those habits that annoy you
You can take control of your annoyances, by choosing everyday to be happy.
Sounds daycareish, but it is true. Happiness is not something that is genetic, but rather something that we control each day. Being choose to be unhappy and happy. There are people who are always around drama, because they choose to be around drama. There are people who are always positive, because they choose to be positive.
Happiness in your relationship is something that will make your marriage handle those little annoyances along the way with ease.
Have you ever been in a car that had good shock absorbers? In Michigan, we are known for poor roads. Potholes are everywhere, and if your car has poor shocks, those holes no matter the size are terrible. Great shocks help a lot with the potholes.
Taking control of your feelings by choosing to be happy is like adding good shocks to your car. The bumps will still be felt, but it will not bother you as much.